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Saturday, March 3, 2012

"I don't like black people..."

This is not my statement!
This post is not meant to offend anyone or degrade anyone in any way, shape or form!  If this offends you, I'm truly sorry.  However, I think it should be talked about and it fits in here.  I'd also appreciate any feedback you may have on the subject  :)

I knew from the first time my niece spent the night with us that she was afraid of black people.  She was fine being in our house with my nephews, but she never stayed with us alone until she was 2.  Then for some reason, she was scared to death of C's daddy- who is, obviously, a black man. 
Even though he talked to her in a sweet voice and she watched me and my kids give him hugs and kisses to show he was nice, my niece was still scared.  So scared that she didn't move off the couch the rest of the night- not even to go to the bathroom!
I didn't make a big deal of it- she was just a baby who was never around any black people, or really anyone without her mom and dad there.  Besides that, she had never been at our house alone and was scared.  I know that a lot of times kids are less scared if their parents are around!  But C's dad insisted she was scared of him because he was black.

Last weekend, we were visiting my mom and my sister came over with my niece and nephews.
My niece, who is 3 now, came up to me and said "I don't wanna see B! (C's dad) I don't want to go to your house!"    I asked her why not, and she wouldn't give me an answer, but she looked very scared.  I decided to just come out and ask...
"Is it because he's black?"
My niece nodded her head and said "I don't like black people!"
I tried not to take offense to it- she is just a 3 year old little girl.  Actually, I even laughed about it!
But then, I started thinking and wondered WHY doesn't she like black people?! 
Why? Because she hasn't been around many, maybe (even though she's had her whole life of 3 years to get used to C's dad).  Maybe she was just agreeing with me- she didn't have an answer, so she went along with the first reason she heard???
Or maybe, it's because she's being raised by a family who puts black people down...  Maybe it's because everyone says C's dad is going to come get her to scare her into behaving. 
Most likely, it's because instead of my sister (or anyone else) talking to my niece and telling her that black people are not 'bad', they are regular people and they aren't going to hurt you, everyone laughs and thinks it's the funniest thing that she's scared of black people and admits it.
One thing I know is that when you're taught to hate certain people, you just do because that's what you were taught.  I'm ashamed to admit this, but I'm going to anyway...  When I was a kid, I remember my whole family being afraid of black people and talking bad about them.  For whatever reason, I was always fascinated by them and couldn't understand why I shouldn't like them.  When we were driving anywhere and saw a black person, we were told "Lock your door and don't look at them!"... So that's what we did.  It wasn't until I actually got to know a black person that I realized they are just like anyone else.  I had a very rough childhood (I won't get into all the details), but my mom's friend and her black husband let us in their home anytime we needed or wanted to be there and he not only treated us nicely, he treated us like we were the same!  Oh, I could go on forever about this topic and I could tell you some crazy stories you wouldn't believe!

Anyway, later on I tried to explain that black people are just like her- I even told her C and Mr. C were half black.  She acted a little scared, but she said she didn't believe me. 
C had one of her black Cabbage Patch Kid dolls with her, and my niece was running away every time anyone picked it up!  She yelled anytime C came near her with the doll.  When I told her C's dad was coming over, she ran to the bedroom screaming and crying : /
Everyone else thinks it's funny, but I can't help feeling a little resentful.  My kids got mad that she kept saying she didn't like black people too.  She kept going up to all of us, putting her arm next to ours and saying   "You're not black- you're white like me!"  But my kids know who they are, and they kept telling her "We're half black!.. Does that mean you don't like us?"   :(
I explained to my kids that she is just a little girl who has only known one black person- who she hears everyone talking bad about- and she doesn't know any better.  I still feel bad though, because I want my kids to love themselves and not feel like they are so much different than my side of the family.  Because they aren't- people are people, no matter what their race!  My kids (mostly C) already hear one negative comment after another about their hair, which sometimes makes them want hair like mine and I have to counter each negative comment with 10 positive ones...  I just want them like the way they look.  Yes my niece is only 3 now, but what if her attitude towards black people never changes?  What if she decides later that she doesn't like my kids? I honestly don't care- I'll keep them away from anyone who doesn't like them! 
I don't make too big of a deal about it, even though I do wish my sister would set her straight instead of encouraging her fear.

This type of thing is the exact reason I decided to start this blog.  I want C to know that she is not alone, she is normal and beautiful.  She needs and deserves to see other little girls like herself with her hair type and I feel that the positive comments people leave about her hair are doing her self esteem good!

So what do you think about this?  Is it normal kid behavior, and would you be offended?  Would you feel bad for your kids?  Also, is this something you're dealing with now or have dealt with in the past?


Friday, March 2, 2012

Curls Lavish Curls Moisturizer Review

Water, Glycerin, Polysorbate 80, Methylheptyl Isostearate, Silk Amino Acids, Certified Organic Anthemis Nobilis Flower Extract, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea Butter), Simmondsia Chinensis (Jojoba) Seed Oil, Certified Organic Camellia Sinensis Leaf Extract, Citric Acid, Guar Hydroxypropyltrimonium Chloride, Disodium EDTA, Potassium Sorbate, Phenoxyethanol, Caprylyl Glycol, Fragrance

$10.99 for an 8oz bottle at Meijer

This smells so yummy!  It has a light peach scent which both me and C love.

Very light, almost exactly like water.  This is not greasy, oily, or sticky at all.

The product EVERY curly girl needs... a daily moisturizer to refresh, rehydrate, and reactivate her dry curls after a long nights rest... without shampooing!  Lavish Curls Moisturizer will give life back to dry and lifeless curls in a snap!  Use daily for best results.

Apply Lavish Curls Moisturizer to wet or dry hair. DO NOT RINSE.  Follow up with your favorite Curls styling product.

We've been using this product along with the Curls Creme Brule and Curls Goddess Curls. 
I have to say, for the price and the ingredients, this is a pretty good deal!  I feel like C's hair likes these Curl products just as much as other things that are more expensive (and give about the same results), and I love the fact that I can go to Meijer anytime we need more and pick it up.  We don't have to go online to order it, pay extra and wait for it.

One thing I didn't care for about this product was the way it sprays out.  It comes out in a stream.  I was expecting a nice mist since this is a spritz, but it wasn't a big deal.  I couldn't find a spray cap to fit this bottle right, so I just poured the Lavish Curls into an extra spray bottle.  If you do this, make sure you label the spray bottle or use a different colored bottle than your regular water spray bottle.
I would say the Lavish Curls Moisturizer does a fairly good job at keeping C's hair moisturized.  It's not a miracle product and I'll still look for more things to try, but I like it.  Compared to other things we've used, this is one of the better ones.  I have a very hard time finding anything to keep C's hair moisturized, so I'm going to keep the Lavish Curls around the house until we find something better, along with the Creme Brule and the Goddess Curls.  As far as a daily moisturizing spritz, it's better than nothing.  I like having something I can spray in her styled hair daily.
There will be a follow up review on these products, so keep checking back.

I've only found the Curl products at Meijer, but they are also available on their website at 
I wasn't able to find this exact product on their website, but I'm assuming their Quenched Curls is about the same as this.  The ingredients are a little different though...

Ingredients: Water, Glycerin, Bean Tree, Certified Organic White Tea Extract, Certified Organic Chamomille Extract, Certified Organic Pomegranate Seed Extract, Hydroxypropyltrimonium, Hydrolyzed Corn Starch,  Certified Organic Butyrospermum Parkii Shea Butter, Certified Organic Simmondsia Chinensis (Jojoba Seed Oil), Certified Organic Cocos Nucifera Coconut Oil, Triticum Vulgare (Wheat) Germ Oil, Silk Amino Acids, Citric Acid, Guar Hydroxypropyltrimonium Chloride, Disodium EDTA, Potassium Sorbate, Phenoxyethanol, Caprylyl Glycol, Natural Fragrance
So I'm not going to say for sure that they will work the exact same way.  Also, the Quenched Curls costs $16 for an 8oz bottle, so the Lavish Curls is a better value- AND more convenient if your Meijer carries it! :)
Curls also has a shampoo and conditioner at Meijer, I still haven't decided if I will try them or not just because (in my opinion) shampoo is shampoo- as long as it's sulfate free, I'll use just about anything.  And as for the conditioner, we have plenty of good ones, so I think we need to use those up first.
Have you tried this or any of the other Curls products?  What did you think?

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